Yuletide's coming in and guess what?
Yup, That's right folks! It's Christmas Break! Alright!
Cheers!
Time to party!! Bring out all the food and booze!! PARTY! PARTY! :P
**SFX: Broken record**
NOT!!
Yeah, yeah. Its that time of the year again. No school. No class. LOADS OF SCHOOLWORK. And this time we sure are piled up with tons of things! There are just too much shenanigans going on. Lemme just enumerate some of them...
My To Do List for this holiday:
Lets start of with my acad shiz.
->> THESIS
-- Chapter 4
-- Chapter 5
-- GUI (Graphic User Interface)
-- Prototype
->> VISUAL COMPUTING
-- 1 Cartoon character graphic design
-- 1 Logo graphic design
-- 8 other unique different graphic designs
->> SEM 2 (KINDA LIKE THESIS)
-- Screen Mockups/Wireframes and Interface Flow
-- Prototype
-- Submission #1 for Initial Review and Testing
-- Submission #2 for 2nd Review and Testing
-- Submission #3 for Final Presentation and upload to Nokia Store
->> COMPILER DESIGN
-- Software (Case Study)
->> ETHICS
-- Long quiz
**Basically, by the time we get back we need to showcase 3 new software we developed plus 10 graphic designs and to ease the burden why not have a long exam while were at it. Life couldn't be possibly be this easy!**
Then there of course is my other life. My org, Teatro. Life wouldn't be complete without this. So to join in with the commotion, what I should be doing are.
->> LIQUIDATION REPORT FROM THE FIRST MAJOR PRODUCTION "SA HULING PAHINA"
->> CHECK THE AUDITED LIQUIDATION REPORTS FROM THE SHOWCASE
->> FINANCIAL STATEMENT FOR THE MONTH OF NOVEMBER
->> FINANCIAL STATEMENT FOR THE MONTH OF DECEMBER
->> PLANNING FOR THE SECOND MAJOR PRODUCTION "ANG MGA FILIBUSTERO"
->> CONSTANT MEETINGS WITH THE EXECUTIVE BOARD
->> EVALUATION OF THE PAST PRODUCTIONS
There you have it! Easy as pie isn't it? Piece of cake. Yes sir. It's not that much. Believe me. It's nothing. Im enjoying every single bit of my vacation. Pft!
**FX:SARCASM**
BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!!
Well of course, I haven't forgotten my family yet and that I have my relatives supporting everything I do. So, to show their appreciation and love for me here are my chores for the holidays.
->> 2 EXTERIOR GRAPHIC DESIGN FOR OUR SHIP
->> 2 INTERIOR GRAPHIC DESIGN FOR OUR SHIP
->> 3 RENDERED DIFFERENT BEDROOMS GRAPHIC INTERIOR DESIGN AND LAYOUT
->> 1 RENDERED GRAPHIC INTERIOR DESIGN AND LAYOUT FOR A WHOLE FLOOR
->> 3 BEDROOM FLOOR PLAN
->> 1 FL0OR PLAN FOR AN ENTIRE FLOOR
->> SHOPPING FOR APPLIANCES (NOT SHOPPING FOR LEISURE AND PLEASURE)
->> COOK FOR THE HOLIDAYS
It feels like I'm on the wrong house! It's like I got hired on a firm the day the holidays started. Every conversation I had with my Mom and Uncles were like purely business.
"Do this and that. Make this and that."
"We have a deadline, we need these ASAP!"
"The mayor will check on it, we'll get you inform after the review."
"Have you done what I've asked for?"
"Have you started with the designs?"
WTFH?!?! HOLD YOUR HORSES PEOPLE!! IM ONLY ONE!! MY GOLLY!!
I guess I was on the wrong course! They should have sent me to Architecture, Fine Arts, Interior Design or Culinary. lol. If you think of it, those were actually MY CHOICES when I was about to enter college that they all REJECTED.
People around me are asking too much from me. Too much from what I can handle. Too much for my skills. Feels like my to do list is longer than a grocery list!!
But all I wanna do is sit at home, watch movies, eat and rest. Have a quiet time for myself. It's about time that I give time for myself. SOMETHING I HAVEN'T GOT FOR ALMOST 2 YEARS NOW! And I'm not exaggerating that part.
IT'S NOT LIKE THEY'RE PAYING ME TO DO ALL THIS STUFF!
Seriously, I wouldn't mind a couple of bucks here and there. Or a nice gift like a new gadget or accessories for my gadgets. Is it that hard to ask?
Anyway, HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!! ^_^ ♥
don't wanna be a grinch and ruin everybody's holiday
FULLY LOADED!
Self accepted!!
Self accepted!!
Dec 21, 12:57am
I was unaware. I didn't know myself. I had always denied everything. I was confused.
I always said that its impossible. There wouldn't be a slightest chance. Never will it ever happen even in my dreams.
But all that has come to an end. Its over.
Finally, Im certain! It's true.
I'm confused no more. I'm ready to eat all the words I said before.
All is clear now. My eyes are open. I now have a great view of everything. Now, I'm accepting all these facts. I could totally be honest with myself.
Yes. I've fallen to your spell. You caught me offguard. You now possess my heart. Im all yours.
I love you.
Three words. One powerful statement.
Words that I would rarely say. Words that I never imagined to whisper onto someone else's ears.
Words that means a lot to me.
You gave meaning to this simple word.
And yes, I said it. I said it to you and just you.
At this moment, Im head over heals for you. I have no idea when did it started but all I'm aware of is that I love you now and that I would always want to be with you.
I love you so much that I'm scared. Im terrified.
Scared of the fact that you might not feel the same way.
Scared of the consequences that could happen in return when you finally be aware of how I feel.
Scared of the fact that time is running out for the both of us.
Scared of the possibility that you like someone else.
Scared of the thought that you'll leave me.
Scared of the fact that I never loved anybody before and I'm not used to this feeling.
Scared to risk our friendship for this.
All these thoughts is breaking me yet its making me strong.
Everything feels different now. Everything you do feels different.
I don't know if I'm just overly assuming things or I'm just dead crazy over you.
Whatever it is I'm happily loving you selflessly.
Continental Drift Theory
Is it possible that all these scientific theories and laws in our world is also applicable in our own personal life?
________________________________________________
Kung ang continents nga naghihiwalay, tao pa kaya?
________________________________________________
Lately, I kinda feel bad about the people around me. I don't know if it's just plain coinsidence or Im bad luck. Currently, people "couples" to be exact, I personally know keeps on breaking up. Its like a domino effect that right after the other relationship falls down right comes the other.
It's quite funny in a way yet creepy at the same time. Its not that I'm totally enjoying and happy that people around me are breaking up with each other but the frequency of it happening is just not normal.
I sure hope that this would stop. I just can't bear the sadness and the heavy feeling of the people around me.
I wish that in the end everything would just turn out right for everyone.
I guess if ever some of them won't be able to get back together it only means that they are not meant for each other. Cause I believe that if someone or something is really meant for you, the whole world will find a way to make that happen. And that's what you call destiny.
Yes. I do believe in destiny. I do believe on the stars and their meanings. I do believe on horoscopes. I do believe in love at first sight. And I do believe in lots of random-shennanigans. And this is what makes life fun and thrilling. It adds color to our lives.
Abusado?
So Disturbing.
Who would have known?
A girl, a guy and another girl.
3 totally different persons. 3 different interests. 3 bestfriends.
4 years. Hundred of strangers. Thousand life events. Millions of memories.
Yet, never did it actually ever crossed their minds that they would actually get along and end-up to be bestfriends.
Been together their whole college life, trying to fit in and look for the right persons to be with.
Always together but never actually noticed each other's presence.
All throughout their problems and accomplishments they were together but never realized the importance of each other.
Until now.
Last semester. Last 6 months of college.
A sudden turn of events with their life opened their eyes. It made them realize a lot of stuff.
They finally noticed each other's value. Made them aware of each other's individuality. But was it too late?
Will it be the last moments that they would be together?
Is time really running out for them?
How could they compensate with the lost time?
Nobody knows what would happen in the future. No one knows how the 3 of them would end. But one thing is certain.
They're 3 Bestfriends and they won't allow anything or anybody to destroy the bond they had.
Have a break. Unwind
Yesterday I went out with my co-executive board and some of the probies and enjoyed the whole day at Enchanted Kingdom.
It was a blast!
lots of things happened and it was oh so fun! I just can't contain all the excitement I had.
It was the best sembreak I ever had.
**im not in the mood to actually blog and tell the whole story. lol. I feel oh so lazy :))
but one thing is for sure.
THIS IS AN UNFORGETTABLE EXPERIENCE.
Sa Huling Pahina ni Chris Martinez
Is it worth it?
Last night, I was at my friend's party. I drunk some booze but I know that I wasn't intoxicated. I could still clearly remember everything that had happened. But, unfortunately, I was aware that I have lost control of myself. :|
Does that mean I was drunk?
Anyway, i said a lot of stuff. And when I say A LOT. I mean really lots of things. Things that I have no plans of telling other people. My secrets. My life.
Right now there's nothing I can do anymore. I've said it. They've heard it. Might as well go with it. But is it worth it?
Even though those people that I unconsciously blabbered my life secrets were some of my closest friends, I still feel uncomfortable knowing that they had already gain access to one of my life's gates. An inch closer to me.
I don't even know how would I face them. How would I react. Or if anything would even change.
I just hope that all is well, and that somehow for the first time I've done something that's right. Though its totally against my will. >:(
I guess it is true that Champagne costs too much, Whiskey's too rough, and Vodka puts big mouths in gear.
I would totally lay off vodka for sure.
Could you even imagine?
Depression brings out the blogger in me.
I just realize it just now while I was looking at my blog's archive.
Honestly, I'm no fan of writing and expressing my self to others, but somehow when I'm depress or whatsoever I just resort to blogging to release all the emotions building up on me. Kinda great way to prevent myself from exploding. Heh.
Lately, I've been blogging from time to time and it actually feels good.
But then again, the root of all this is still my severe depression. -_-
The hell! If only I could take meds to ease the pain.
Blaaahhh...
Play hard. Eat hard. Drink hard.
Eat. Drink. Play.
Enjoy life to the fullest and be merry!
That's what I've been trying to do to help save myself from this deep hole that I've had fallen in.
I've been going out quite a couple of times this past few days and partying with my mates till dawn. And this is something new for a person like me. An introverted-people-hater-home-loving-computer-addict-girl.
I've been drinking hard and drowning my self with alcohol. Trying to forget about this shitty world were living, all my fucked up problems and my sucky life.
I had told myself before that I would never be that type of person who has a bottle of vodka as her bestfriend. That kind of dude that resorts to alcoholism to escape. Unfortunately, im starting to be the person I much abhore.
AND IT SUCKS!
No matter how much I don't wanna end up to be that person, I can't help myself cause it's the only way for me to still hold on and hope that tomorrow is still worth living.
Right now, I'm just trying to find ways to enjoy things despite all these mess that I've gotten into. I just wish that I won't totally change into that awful person that i hate.
Maskara
Maskara
Mga maaamong muka,
Mga titig na walang mantsa.
Kislap sa mga mata,
Tila walang mga problema.
Dungis sa pisngi,
At tamis ng ngisi.
Bahid ng kagalakan sa sarili,
Ni walang masisi.
Mukha ng kabataan,
Marka ng kamusmusan.
Pag-asa ng bayan,
Kinabukasan ng sanlibutan.
Nooy sarili ang pinagmamasdan,
Nang mga mapanuring mata.
Ngayon sarili ang nagmamasid
At di maiwasan ikumpara.
Noon at Ngayon,
Ano nga ba ang nagbago?
Bukas at kahapon,
Ano bang naging areglo?
Ngiti at ngisi ngayon,
Parehong kahulugan pa rin ba ng kahapon?
Iyak at mga luha noon,
Bunsad ng lungkot maghapon.
Hudyat pa rin ng magkawangis na dahilan.
Noon, ngayon at magpakailanman.
Iba't ibang emosyon,
Iba't ibang kundisyon.
Iba't ibang kwento,
Iba't ibang tagpo.
Iba't ibang tauhan,
Ating nasaksihan.
Maskara ng buhay,
Sinusuot ng matiwasay.
Maskara ng pagkakataon,
Hinuhulma ng panahon.
Noon at ngayon,
Magkaibang panahon,
Saan mang destinasyon,
Tayo'y aahon.
Sarit-saring personalidad,
Kani-kanyang diskarte.
Hangad ay pag-usad,
Sa ating munting byahe.
A trip to remember
Last monday, my only agenda were supposedly, initially, me with my classmates just had to fix the mess we've got into at school and talk to our department's head regarding what we should do to solve everything. Then right after that I was supposed to have a meeting with my co-executive board but that got cancelled and we already finished our stuff at the engineering earlier than what we expected.
So that left me with nothing to do.
That day actually is also the day that we set for our class outing but I ditched everyone cause I'm totally depressed these past few weeks and I have no plan of enjoying or whatsoever.
But then again, words can be waived in a blink of an eye. Lol.
So, after seeing everyone leaving right in front of me with their big bags, sweet smiles and boisterous laughters I got jealous and decided right there and then that I wanted to come. Haha.
And so the journey begins...
DAN DARADANDAN DAAN!!
We left the school right around before lunch time then headed to the train station. After the 20 minutes ride we got off and decided to have lunch before going to the venue.
Everyone was so damn hungry but no one wants to spend a single cent either. "mga kuripot" LOL. Then Cy volunteered that he's willing to treat everyone just let him eat asap! Haha.
That was music to our ears.
So we eat out then finally head to the place.
YIPPEE!!
The place was great and everyone was having the time of their lives.
Who wouldn't love all the overflowing booze and foods! Plus the relaxing pool and jacuzzi and a lot more.
From the moment we lay our foot on our destination we surely arrived in paradise.
Then the rest was history!
One word to sum up everything that we had and what had happened.
Awesome!
It was surely a trip to remember!
P.S.
I feel like i still have a hangover. Ugh! Can't even think right. Lol.
I HATE YOU!
YES. I HATE YOU.
I hate you and I wanted you to know why but I don't wanna tell you neither.
I hate you cause...
*... you messed me up.
*... you made my world crazy.
*... you made me confused.
*... you made me doubt myself.
*... you cause me pain.
*... you made me hate the world. (actually I already hated the world even before i met you, but still you made me hate it more)
*... you keep on doing things that makes me like you. And that makes me HATE YOU!
*... you are YOU.
and lastly...
I HATE THE FACT THAT YOU MADE ME FALL FOR YOU!!
and it deeply hurts me as much as it makes me insane cause I know that it just can't happen. It could never be us. Were two worlds apart.
F*CK THAT!
and of course I can't honestly accept the fact that I bent over you...
I can't...
and now I'm starting to doubt myself again..
I SO SO SO HATE YOU!!!
Goodbye...
I got an A+. YEY!! :|
Thats right, its official. I got an A+ on my most fave subject.
Sucking at Life.
I pretty much aced all its aspect.
I fucked up on the things that I love to do. I messed up with flying colors on my acads and other school shiz. I awesomely pissed off my freaking family. Im starting to get on the nerve of my mates. And finally, I'm at the edge of my emotions.
Isn't all that great? Sucking life at its finest. I'm totally like a MASTER OF FAILURE! A walking failure.
Right now, all I wanna do is to do the honor of killing myself and save the precious time of the people around me.
And eventhough i greatly hate to admit all these shenanigans that I'm blabbering about. But yeah. Its all happening. Everything's true. And it's starting to slap me right into my face.
Fuck that!!
No matter how much I wanted to hide all these stuff and keep it all to myself like some selfish-five-years-old-brat I really just can't! It's written all over me. I feel so hopeless and weak. And I hate it! I aint no pussy! Argh!
THIS SUCKS!
Hanggang Kailan?
Sembreak?
The much awaited month-long-break is finally here!! Yey!
NOT!
Ok, so today marks the official start of our sembreak but as usual, in my world, its also the start of our whole-day-full-powered-rehearsals. Isn't it fun? Working from 8am to 12 midnight or longer! Yeah right.
Well it used to be fun and enjoyable, but not this time. Not anymore. Heh.
No school = No classes = No excuse
That means everyone needs to be there 24/7. Which is something i can't promise anymore. No matter how much I wanted to, my parents just won't allow me. I've been fighting for this for almost 2 years now and I guess they had enough.
And because... I hate to admit this but honestly my heart's drifting away from all these. It feels like I've lost the drive to move forward.
I'm so stressed and tired of everything.
And This is one of the stuff that makes me anxious. I've never been stressed about anything in my life. Ever! cause I never really gave a crap about anything, until now.
Life for me before is like watching television. I just go on with my life every single day. Come what may. Accept everything and let go once your done. And just enjoy every single show that comes right after the other and relax during the commercial breaks.
Everything's so easy. Piece of cake.
Then there's now.
.
..
.
I guess the station's signing off. Its time. Time for a BREAK.
GAME OVER!
Fuck this! Its all over!!
>:(
I'm so pissed off right now! I don't freaking know what to do. I can't accept the fact that all these is happening. And mainly it's all my fault! Well not everything. But yeah partly its cause of me..
If only I...
THE HELL!!! I FUCKING HATE MYSELF!! I HATE THE WORLD!! I HATE YOU!!!
NOW WHAT THE HELL SHOULD I FREAKING DO NOW!?!!? ITS ALL FREAKING OVER!!
UGGGGGHHHH!!!!!
ITS SOOOOO UNFAIR!!
I so wanna die right now. i feel so useless. Its over. Now my whole life is totally messed-up. I totally screwed up big time!
THE END. GAME OVER.
Its over. I give up.
Its over. I give up.
Im freaking sick and tired of all this crap! There's no point of continuing.
I'm so messed up. I feel so useless.
I just wanna end everything tonight and escape from this fucked up world. It doesn't matter anyway. No one would care. No one would even notice that I'm gone.
I've been holding on for so long. I really just can't bare it anymore. All my life I've been hoping that things would change and for once everything would turn up alright. But i guess, all this time I've been wishing for the impossible.
LIFE'S UNFAIR! LIFE SUCKS!
And EVERYONE'S just FREAKING CRAZY together with this FUCKED UP WORLD!!
I feel so broken and jaded. Lost and alone.
I wanna scream out for help but no one would even understand me. Nobody would even stop and try to hear out or understand what I'm feeling. Its pointless. Nonsense.
There's no point of voicing out what I gotta say in this oh so insensitive-judgmental-helpless-world.
Everybody lies. Everybody cheats.
Trust no one but yourself.
It's what I've been doing all these years. Everything to myself. Keeping everything I feel out of others. Cause no one will even bother to know.
I'm just a spec of dust in this world. Im nothing. I rather be gone and just fade away.
24 Days is not enough
That's right, 24 days had passed since the last time we've talked to each other and still I don't feel like going back to what we used to.
It was the eve of our retreat. The dawn of our trip. The last moment we talked and mind each other. The time I told you how I'm feeling at that moment. The point when i ranted about my fucked up life.
I was a mess. I have no clue on what to do. I don't have a single idea on what to say.
I just went on with my thoughts. No inhibitions. Straightforward. Just like what you wanted.
We talked...argued...agreed...settled
.
..
...
....
...
..
.
Settled for something we both know that we are not ok with. Just for the sake of ending the conversation.
It was very late. We both need to rest for the next day. I have a trip, you have a class. There's nothing we could do about it.
The truth is, the whole time, I'm totally pissed! So irritated! All I wanted is for you to say what I really wanted to hear from you. But NO. None of that ever did.
So fine. I don't care. I was really expecting that. What am I to you anyway?!
BULLSHIT!! FUCK THIS!!
----------
Actually, I was oh so glad and excited that we had our retreat at that time. Cause I was really at the edge of giving up.
The retreat gave me everything that I needed. Time. Space. Moment for myself to think about everything. It was a relief. Somehow, it brought me back to my senses. Though I was quite disappointed on how our retreat went. Actually, it was more of an outing than a retreat. lol. Kung kelan naman gusto ko makipag-isa sa Diyos saka naman di nangyari! But, i'm still thankful cause once again I was given a chance to spend my time with my friends. I admit that somehow I've been lacking time and neglecting them since last year.
A lot has really changed. A lot of things happened.
Too bad we can't turn back time. We can't change the pass and bring back what has happened before. Thus, this made me realize about stuff. Made things less hazy. Less fucked up. But still complicated.
----------
Our retreat ended, we went back to our own lives and faced reality once again. Two days after, you messaged me. I ignored you. But I was glad you did. Days passed. Then I just noticed that you left me a message everywhere. But still I refuse to respond. I was avoiding you. I'm trying to isolate myself. Trying to protect myself. Somehow, every single piece of things that reminds me off you irritates me. Memories of me and you hurts me. All i wanted was to erase you from my life. I was so confused. So hurt. So lonely. BUT I DON'T HAVE A SINGLE CLUE NOR IDEA WHY I SUDDENLY FELT THIS WAY TOWARDS YOU. I wanted to confront you but my ego is holding me back. I wanted to ask for your help, however, the mere sight of you makes me so weak that I just wanted to cry.
I feel so broken. I feel so lost. I feel so...
.
..
.
And its all because of you! And that annoys me! No matter how hard I try not to be bothered nor be affected by you, I still freaking do!
It just creeps me out how you get into me! last Tuesday night, I even dreamed of you. It was oh so weird. My whole dream was so weird. And so the next day, I sent you a message. Actually its not a message its more of a ":D" smiley. Anyway, same shit. But you didn't replied. You ignored me. And that totally annoyed me. So i choose to do the same. And i said to myself that I would never talk to you anymore!
This whole semester I was so bothered. My mind is so preoccupied. Im so absorbed by you. I'm so engrossed on the fact that you are affecting me that I didn't notice everything around me. That a lot of things has passed. MY WHOLE LIFE WAS IN CHAOS.
It was our final examination week. I promised myself that I would focus on my acads this year. I told myself that for the first time in my whole life i would study. For the first time i'll try to actually pay attention to my studies. But all that went down the drain. And its all because Im in such distress.
Yesterday you were there. I didn't give a damn. I didn't talked to you nor approached you, and so were you. Everything's fine. The whole time I was trying to shift my attention to something else. Trying to keep myself busy, so as not to accidentally look at you. All is well. The day ended flawless. Everything worked out as plan. No one even noticed that something's wrong between us. The whole day passed as if were not at the same room for a moment. I was glad on how it turned out, though I was quite agitated.
Then today, it was the last day of the week. It was a rainy afternoon. I was caught off guard. I didn't expected that to happen.
I was walking alone. Earphones plugged-in into my ears. Secluding myself from everyone. I was in my own world. Minding my own business, having life realizations while walking. Having not a single care of the world.
Then you called me. I wasn't aware. I didn't hear you. So you called, and you called, then you shouted but still I didn't notice you. I was so immersed with myself. Until you grabbed me from behind with your umbrella and grasped my arm. I was shocked. So with no hesitations I turned around and was greatly surprised to see you. I was stupefied.
At that moment I really didn't know what to do or say. So i just stood there and stare. You started talking. I could see your lips moving but I can't hear a single word you were saying. I'm still at a state of shock. Slowly i plugged-out my earphones as you remove your hands from my arm. Then you told me that you were calling me and shouting for my name but I didn't respond nor pay attention to you that's why you grabbed me. Then a moment of silence filled the air. We were just both staring at each other. Then I smirked and said "ok". Then turned around. Im such a fool! I really don't know how to react during those awkward moments. Then as i was walking away, you called me once again and said something. This time I responded. You said that you'll walk with me to the other side, I replied sure if you want too then you changed your mind. And started talking gibberish. So I just told you that you're really weird and laugh. You laughed backed. Then said goodbye. Then I turned around and continue with myself.
Minutes later you texted me, asking if I'm on my way home, cause if I do you'll go with me. But I wasn't able to read it at that moment when i got the message. So there.
Like wth?! that was the most awkward moment we had. i mean, yeah we had arguments and tampuhans before but it never gotten to this level. I guess this is the longest time we didn't talked to each other. And its sad. it feels like a part of me was missing..
So we started messaging each other again, but you can notice that something is different. Every message was cold. A lot different from before. Then it started to get into me once again and irritates me. So i stopped replying. Yeah, I intentionally didn't replied to your last messages.
I guess I'm still not ready to talk to you. 24 days wasn't enough. But it was too much. Still I'm glad that i saw you and talked to you for a while even though i hated it.
-------------
Errrrrr....... I just freaking realized why the hell am I writing a post about this?! like seriously, my main reason for writing a blog today is to address that its our last day of final examinations and it is officially the start of our one month long sembreak! YEY!!
how i wish that i could spend my sembreak just like all the regular students out there.. :( but no! instead I have to go to school or somewhere EVERYDAY! for our freaking rehearsals!!! talk about busyness!!
anyway, HAPPY RAINY SEMBREAK to everyone!! Im so excited for my outing with my friends! WOOT!! ^_^ and this time, im totally coming!! OH YEAH! :D
RETREAT
TOMORROW'S THE BIG DAY!!!
Our class together with the other section will be having our retreat tomorrow. YEY!
Yeah others might think it sucks. And that its all gonna be those religious shizz. But actually it won't.
Actually, im excited cause theres gonna be lotsa lotsa FOOD! oh yeah! I heard that there would be overflowing foods. And its gonna be FUN!
Another reason for not having class and to bond with my friends! oh yeah!
Giving Up
Right now I'm on the verge of giving up.
I just wanna give up on everything. Especially LIFE.
Technically, life's complicated. LIFE IS UNFAIR. And that's the sad truth. But lately, I feel so lost and useless and other shizz. I just don't know what to do at this moment. I feel like I'm a walking FAILURE. Everything in my life is a big disappointment. A GIGANTIC EPIC FAILURE. It feels like everything I did my whole life is pointless. Even my mom thinks I'm useless. WTH?!
And right now, the only thing that keeps me going is starting to fade away.
I even tried talking to the only person on earth that I think might make me feel less lonely. But it only makes me feel more down.
Right now Im just hoping that I could still hold on.
Hinog sa Pilit
Hinog sa Pilit
Musmos na bata,
Isinilang na walang diwa.
Maagang namulat,
Sa hubad na katotohanan,
Ng ating mundo't,
Matiyagang pakikipag-sapalaran.
Pilit na binuksan and puso't isipan,
Sa hiwaga ng sanlibutan.
Pinalaking matapang at walang kinatatakutan,
Taglay kakaibang paninindigan.
Hinulma upang maging sandata,
Sa laban ng mga matatalinhaga.
Minsa'y naging tahimik na sanggol,
Kalayunan naging batanag makulit at humahabol.
Ngunit ngayong mga dalaga't binatilyo na,
Tila pagka menor de edad ay ninakaw pa.
Mga ngiti ay naglaho na parang bula,
Dugo at pawis ang pruweba.
Dating mga maiingay na tawanan,
Unti-unting napukaw.
At ngayo'y mga seryosong usapan,
Ang kanilang isinisigaw.
Bola, manika at laruan,
Mga nagbibigay kagalakan.
Wari mga munting alaala,
Nang minsang musmos na bata.
Noo'y tinuruan upang huwag maapi,
Ngunit ngayon ay alipin ng sarili.
Mga responsibilidad na pilit na ipinapako,
Hangang sa pagtulog ay ipinagtatanto.
Mga batang walang kabiyak,
Animo sandamukal ang anak.
Bigat ng dalahin,
Wala nino man ang aangkin.
Pasaning di maisisi,
Walang magawa kung di panindigan ng sarili.
Dahil ang musmos na bata ay hinnog sa pilit
DEPRESSED
One word to describe how I'm feeling right now.
A lot has happened since the last time I posted an entry here. I even forgot to update this shizz.
(yeah, i might always say that I'll make it a habit to make an entry. But actually it all depends on my mood and there's nothing you can do about it. lol)
Ok a little wrap up of what had happened.
.
..
...
....
...
..
.
So technically, I already graduated from being an apprentice on my org so FINALLY I'm already a full pledge TEATRO TOMASINO MEMBER! YEY! lucky me. ^_^ and not only that, humbly speaking I actually got elected last april to be the Business Director of the Executive Board for the A.Y. 2011 - 2012. Isn't that nice?
Actually,it is! But I have mixed feelings with regards to this. hmmmmm...
Anyway..... as i was saying last April I was...
*COMMENCING TIME WARP*
And now, months later.. everything is so heavy. I don't know what to do now.
I feel like im just doing things cause i have to and not because I want to.
AND IT FREAKING SUCKS!!
I can't tell if I'm dealing with my problems well these days or I just don't give a shit anymore.
KILL ME NOW. FUCK LIFE. FUCK THIS.
AND YEAH I STILL DON'T GIVE A DAMN BUT IT STILL GETS INTO ME. AND IT IS SO DAMN IRRITATING!
Busy as a Bee
We just had our preliminary exams last week and it was hell! >.<
I wasn't able to study any of my subjects before taking the test because I was so caught up doing (T) matters. lol. Everything was pure stocked knowledge. Gosh! now im freaking nervous about the results!
I HOPE I WON'T FAIL!
Enough about that, even though we just had our exams our profs sure knows how to pile up some works on us. This is my to do list for this week and all these are due with in this week!
[ ] English Project
[ ] OR Project
[ ] Thesis
[ ] IT107 HW
[ ] SAD Lab HW
[x] SAD (System Proposal)
**NOT TO MENTION OUR REHEARSALS EVERY AFTER CLASS**
Out of all the things i needed to accomplish, I have only finished one and that's because its original deadline was the week before our exams but our prof ditched us so it got moved.
I really need a motivation right now. I just don't feel like doing anything T_T
moving on...
I am now moving to a new domain, well its not much of a change. Just added a couple of "-" in between my original domain. ^_^
Well the main reason is because my family found out about my blog and my mom got mad about it and asked me to turn it down. But since I'm such a good daughter, I refuse to follow her and instead somewhat change my domain to make it look like I took it off. Heh.
HELL WEEK officially starts!
[ ] THESIS
[ ] TERM PAPER
[ ] 2 PROJECTS
[ ] 4 QUIZZES
[ ] HOMEWORKS
[ ] CSS CODES FOR FINAL MARK'S SITE
[ ] FLASH GAME FOR FINAL MARK'S SITE
[ ] OTHER PROMOTIONS AND MARKETING STUFF FOR FINAL MARK
That my friend is my checklist for all the things that I need to do and pass this week. Busy much? lol (well not actually all, those are just the most important stuff that i needed to accomplish. Not to mention our rehearsals every 5pm-9pm which also takes away my time. Heh)
Hell week finally starts!
After the long Christmas vacation here comes all the school requirements and shits piled up at once. I just freaking hate it when teachers do this things. Why didn't they just gave some of these paper works for us to do during our Christmas break instead of bombarding us with so much work!
Anyway, there's nothing else I can do but to start working and stop yapping.
OFF TO WORK! ^_^
FINAL MARK
TEATRO TOMASINO, on its 32nd theater season, proudly presents
"FINAL MARK"
A Physical Theater Performance
Direction and Concept by JEYPKINS GONZALES
Choreography by JOYCE MOSENDE
Additional Choreography by ANGEL SO and CAROL GARCIA
to be held at the
ALBERTUS MAGNUS AUDITORIUM, UST
February 1 , 3 - 4 , 2011 ; 10am , 2pm , 6pm
February 2 , 2011 ; 6pm
DO NOT BE ABSENT!
For ticket inquiries, contact:
JAJA ( 09268462103 )
LELE ( 09239179767 )
New Year's Resolution for 2011
My friend shared this link to me that generates random New Year's resolution for you. And for the fun of it I gave it a shot since I don't really make a list of resolutions myself, might as well try this. Who knows, maybe I would try and do all these stuff. ^_^
Heres the first 10 consecutive resolutions I got.
RESOLUTION #1
RESOLUTION #2
RESOLUTION #3
RESOLUTION #4
RESOLUTION #5
RESOLUTION #6
RESOLUTION #7
RESOLUTION #8
RESOLUTION #9
RESOLUTION #10
Whew! well, there you have it. My 10 resolutions for this year. Piece of cake! *wink*
I've decided to do them, well most of it. I'm still having second thoughts about the piercing thingy. Hahaha. But the rest would be fine ^_^
P.S.
This is gonna be my last blog for the week. I'm going back to my
Theater it is!
As a woman of my words, I just did what I promised myself. A new theme for the new year.
Among the thousand themes out there that I found, I finally choose this although I also found other great layouts aside from this.
This out-stands the others. You may ask why. Its simply because THEATER has been a big part of my life. And this theme shows that connection between me and the world of theater. And for sure just like the past year I would be pretty much busy with (T)eatro (T)omasino. Yeah it takes up most of my time, I don't even have much time for academics but I don't mind. Being with my co-teatro people is more fun than sitting all day in class. Heh. :P
Totally Distracted :P
"Your crops are ready to harvest.""There's a new song on TTR4 ready for you to download go check it out!""Your Lil' Pirates has returned!""A new update is available"
Posts
