Goodbye...

Dear Mommy,

There's so much you needed to know. But right now, I can't even find a way to talk to you and make you listen. 

I guess your just so fed up with me and sick of what I do. I'm sorry. 

But why does it feel that everything's so sudden. You just turned me down in a blink of an eye. Are you mad with me? Do you really hate me that much? Did I do or said something bad? 

How I wish you would tell me. How I wish you would let me know. And I'm sorry if ever I was wrong.

But why now? Now when I'm on the virge of giving up. Now that I just can't seem to hold on. Now that I'm losing my only reason to move on. Now when I feel like a total shit. Now that I feel so alone. Now that I'm totally messed up.

You just don't know how much I wanna talk to you now. How much I need your touch, your hug. How much I needed you, my mother. How much I need your comfort and words that would tell me that everything's ok and everything is gonna be fine and turn out right.

How can I survive this darkness if the only light that's been leading me through these years has lost its glow and decided to just shutoff.

Forgive me for everything. Im sorry for being me.

I guess there's only one person to blame for all these crap, ME.

I get it. You must have been really regreting the day that I was born. Or maybe even the very moment I was concieved.

I wish I wasn't been born.

The world must have been a better place without me. Your life must have been perfect! 

I'm the culprit. I ruined the perfect picture of your life.

Im sorry. I didn't mean to do so.

Farewell...

Your ex-daughter,

-JR