Scaredy Lil Cat

April 1, 2012

4:36 am

Mood: Frightened

In a matter of hours from now I would finally face the fact whether I'm considered a graduate of my batch or should I repeat this one subject that has been holding me back and the reason why I wasn't able to actually march during our batch's graduation rights.

Frightened. Terrified. Scared.

Words that totally describes how I am feeling right now. I'm anxious to know what's ahead of me - my future. It's as if my whole life will be judge by that moment. This stagnant phase that I have been for weeks would finally cease when that time comes.

I know that I've been longing for this moment but now that time is running out, I don't think that I'm ready.

What if things turn out bad? What if things doesn't happen as I wanted it to be? What if everything do went well? What if I pass? 

What if....

Everything is full of this "What if" and I'm queasy to know the answers. What would happen from then on?

I never felt this kind of uneasiness my whole life. I never actually get into this kind of dilemma. Usually, I already know what's ahead of me before I embarked on things. 

Everything is so puzzling, so uptight.

This really is The Final Judgement, The Last Chance for my college life. 

I must ace this test and I ought to pass no matter what!

So God, please help me. Guide me and be at my side throughout this day. I really need you right now. Comfort me with your presence and join me towards a new day. This I ask, in your name. 

Amen.